Renewed Marriage (Overview)

This is the brief version of what God did in our marriage. It was written the month of our 5-year anniversary (November 2006). The time period it spans is from summer 1999 to spring 2005.

My relationship with my husband got started completely the wrong way. We first met when he was my student. He was married but separated and we were both in backsliding mode and both promiscuous. We ended up in a short-lived affair. After which I ended up in another ungodly relationship heading further and further away from God’s plan for me.

If this is not the man…

Fast-forward nearly two years, and I reached a breaking point. I prayed and I said to God, “Lord, if this is not the man you have for me – I just pray You would take him from me. I cannot imagine my life without him, but I trust that You will get me through it and I just ask that You’d bring the man You have for me into my life.” Less than two months later the man I was living with left me.

Dating Allen the 2nd Time

I started going back to church and one night at church I heard the Lord say, “call Allen.” So I did. When Allen and I started dating, we did not date the “right” way at all. He virtually moved in with me only going home on the weekends his kids came to stay with him. We would sleep together and then pray for God to forgive us – it was crazy. We were both a mess, but it appeared we were moving towards Him – sort of.

Married

We were married five months later and it didn’t take me long to realize we were not both moving towards God at the same pace – Allen continued drinking and it was not pretty. For a while, I held back in my relationship with God because I didn’t want to get too “church-ie” and offend him. The Lord convicted me that I was only responsible for my own walk – and that Allen not being right with God was not an excuse for me to not be right. So I began to pursue God more and He began to heal some things in my heart.

During this period, things with my husband got worse. He struggled with porn and was drinking more and more – he would say and do really hurtful things when he was drunk – it was really difficult. I knew he had a lot of past hurts – and so for the first year and a half I tried to fix him, but it only got worse. I’m embarrassed to say I spent more time trying to psychoanalyze him than praying for him.

Broken

Finally, I got on my face before God. I knew He had put us together, but I was miserable. Broken I cried out to God; I told Him I didn’t know what to do with my marriage – I couldn’t fix it and I threw my marriage at His feet. What God said next caught me off guard – He told me to “shut up and pray.” So, I asked Him to teach me how to be a prayer warrior for my husband, which He did (within a week He had people gift me 2 books, Power of a Praying Wife and Intercessory Prayer).

Almost harder than the “pray” was the “shut up” – I’m sure you all know how hard it is not to put your two cents in – especially when someone is totally messing up. But through prayer, God was helping me to hold my tongue and trust Him.

One night when Allen was drunk in a bar, the Lord sent a prophetess to the bar to give him a word. It was powerful and it shook him, but even more than that it rocked my world because I got that God didn’t need me to say anything, He was perfectly capable of sending anyone anywhere to tell him anything! It invigorated my faith and I began to realize how big God really is.

Prayer Warrior

I started a women’s prayer group, where we gathered weekly to pray for our marriages, husbands and families. I staked myself to other women believers. Then God began drawing me deeper into Him. He gave me promises of what my husband and marriage would be like. I spent a lot of time in worship mixed with prayer – especially songs that declared my trust in Him because the situation didn’t look good. I began fasting weekly for my marriage and my husband.

In the natural things would sometimes appear to get better and then they’d get worse, and worse and worse. I asked God to show me Allen as He saw him – and He began to. I began to be able to separate the amazing man that God had created with a call and a purpose from the behavior caused by past wounds and demonic influence. It enabled me to love the man but hate and fight against the enemy controlling him. I was in full battle mode. I was fighting for my husband – it was between the enemy and me and I had God on my side. And I was not going to back down and I was not going to lose.

Broken

After nearly two years came the hardest part of this trial – my Christian friends lost hope and began to encourage me to divorce Allen. One by one, all the people who I had staked myself to and who had been my support system turned. And the Lord told me to choose – who would I believe? The promises He’d given me? Or the counsel of friends.

I was reminded of Job’s friends – well meaning, but wrong. I chose to dare to believe that God was a big enough God to do what He said he was going to do – even though everything in the natural said I was crazy. It was a lonely period, but gratefully, not too long thereafter he hit bottom.

Rock Bottom

One night the police called me to retrieve my husband. He was the worst I’d ever seen him. I was in full battle mode, laying hands on him and praying over him while he was passed out, declaring the promises of God over him. The next morning I continued to press in and pray for breakthrough and it came. If God had not had me living in a place of continual forgiveness and hope – I would have missed it.

I told him he needed to get deliverance – that regardless of his best intentions, the enemy is stronger than him – than any of us – if he didn’t learn and use the authority God had given him as a believer he would continue over and over in the same patterns. He had to chose and fight for his own freedom. And he did.

Confession

The next day, Allen had his first fast. The whole day he fell under heavier and heavier conviction that there were things he needed to come clean with me on. That night he couldn’t sleep – he’d made choices trying to destroy a marriage he hadn’t cared about and was terrified to come clean because now he didn’t want to lose the marriage – but he knew he had to be honest. At 5 am he told God he was ready to tell me, but pointed out to Him that I was still asleep. God promptly woke me.

Allen told me he needed to talk to me, he said his “soul was being tortured” – the minute he spoke the words – a tidal wave of peace came down over me. I told him I forgave him – I knew he wasn’t the same man he’d been three days earlier and that no matter what it was – I forgave him. He needed to tell me and so I let him. I listened as he spoke and then told him again – “I forgive you and I love you.” He told me later that it was like I represented Jesus to him at that moment – it was unthinkable to him that I could forgive him.

Allen was baptized in the Holy Spirit a few days later and God has done some amazing things in our relationship since then. He has continued to draw and heal it.

At the time of adding this part of my testimony to this site it’s been two and a half years since my husband rededicated his life to the Lord. Most of the people we know can’t even imagine that he was ever like this because the Lord has so restored and renewed him. It moves me to tears to see how much my husband loves the Lord now and how relentless his pursuit of Him is.

Conclusion

  • What was amazing to me was that as I trusted my heart with God – He protected it.
  • I was able to maintain true joy through things that don’t make you happy! It was the supernatural peace God tells us He will give us when we seek Him. It was amazing.
  • And that God is faithful and powerful – He will do what He’s said He’s going to do.
  • And He is using it for good – already I’ve been privileged to see two marriages saved as a direct result of the testimony He wrote in our lives.

So to end, I just want to encourage you in 3 things:

  1. pray for your spouse – because it works and it’s powerful,
  2. trust your heart with God – it’s the only place it’s safe,
  3. and finally believe that God is a big God – He can make a way when there appears to be no way, He is faithful.

Update: 23 November 2016

15 years and going strong! 🙂

50 thoughts on “Renewed Marriage (Overview)

  1. thank you so much for your testimony. pray that I trust God in this similar situation. God told me in church a few months ago if you seek me I will take care of the rest.

    the worst is talking to people, they make me give up hope. I don’t want to lose my marriage or my husband but when i think he’s talking to other women i am heartbroken.

    thank you so much, I will keep pressing in and try my best to “shut up” believe it or not the Lord has told me to do the same thing but I do not obey.

    love and blessings to you! Patricia

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  3. Thank you for your testimony, there are plenty of prayer request sites-yours is the first testimony I have found. God has told me to be quiet-HARD for me!! Please join me in praying for restoration in a separation. We still visit and communicate. My husband says he is confused, would like to return home, and loves me and our daughter. She is in her teens and I know the weight I still have from my own parents troubles when I was her age. Bind the enemy and cover us all with the healing blood of Jesus. Soften our hearts for each other and our marriage. Guide and restore our family – yes quickly.
    In Jesus name

  4. Thank you for your testimony, God has spoke to me and have show me not togive up I have been away from my family(fiance and our two boys) and im beliving god to restore my family. But its a hard fight when you feel like everyone is against you. So story has brought me to tears and i thank you again. You made me rember that god will do everything he said

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  6. This is truly a God ordained testimony, thank you so much for sharing your life, pain, sadness, joy, courage and best of all Jesus!

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  8. Thankyou for sharing your testimony. My life with my husband is a true testimony that when you fall on your face before him he will restore and give you the best!! I’d always dated outside God’s ‘pool’ and at the end when I was broken and devastated, I reached out to God to send the right husband and he did! I did’nt even know men like my husband existed, kind, loving, trustworthy, LOVES THE LORD, and just a hero!!
    To God be the glory, great things he hath done.
    *hugs*

  9. Wow! What a testimony! I have a very good friend that was not able to celebrate her first anniversary this year due to attacks of the enemy. They are not divorced (as of today) and she feels that God will make a way for them together. I would love to share your story with her if you don’t mind. What a testimony!

  10. Hi Meghan,

    Today is the 1st day I met u online with the scarves & I KNOW it was set up by Almighty God 🙂
    I am still in a BIG battle very similiar to yours for my husband – the porn all else is identical ! Even though it has been quite a few yrs longer of a battle than yours I KNOW God has NO impossiblities by HIS power ! Thank u for being honest I have been thru the exact same thing with friends/family without them saying but in a round about way since Rick has been this way some yrs now quietly hinting well either get out Or dont share ur burdens anymore, so it is VERY lonely when i look to people >>> BUT as you > I learned thru many tears to look to Jesus alone for all things,comfort,strength,guidance & companionship when it seems like it is Him & I only. I KNOW the LORD is going to restore our marriage very soon & restore Rick to HIM & we also will be a GREAT testimony of the POWER OF GOD !

    I am ordering a scarf for worship soon ( I AM A DEEP WORSHIPPER & INTERCESSOR AS WELL ) I want to use it for this & in Praise dance @ church & @ home !

    Thanks for being so transparent for thru it Jesus WILL heal many !!!

    Love,
    Sharon Wedle

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  12. what a testamony Meghan. This is also another one of those long fights I am in, for my husband. A long time ago the Lord gave me a name for the be queit and pray mode. He called it the Shut Up Annointing. I pray for that annointing often. LOL. The shut up part is very hard, especially for a fighter, you really do need the Annointing for that.

    Victory is sweet.

  13. Thank You so much for guiding me here Meghan…..I was slowly losing hope in my husband and our marriage….i was beginning to think that this is just the road he is going down and if i didn’t stay clear he would drag me down instead of me pulling him up….The biggest thing that touched my heart so in your testimony was that you shut up and prayed for him….I seem to want to always defend my spiritual walk or chastise him when he says or does things that contradict the Word….But through you testimony I have new Hope and New faith and i am going to press in even harder in my prayer and fasting and I am believing God that my marriage will be restored and that my husband will rise up as the spiritual leader of this family and be so in love with God that Nothing will turn his head again….Thank you so much and I so so so look forward to meeting you at The Potter’s House in June…I want to make it a point that i come up to you with a big hug and tell you face to face how much you inspire me…..So be waiting for me!!!!!!

  14. OH!… just… OH!… what a great testimony – my goodness, what all you both have been through. I sent this link to a family member. Meghan, thank you for sharing this – i hope it blesses the socks off of men & woman who have gone through the ringer. So very encouraging!

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  17. Thank God, for His great power bringing healing and restoration to both of you and to your marriage! When I used to see you at Destiny, you and Allen had so much joy and seemed to be so much in love! Yay! I’m so happy for you!

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  19. I am in awe of God’s goodness and am so humbled by the way he has used your scarves. I have been weeping for two days as i have read testimonies about the healings and restoration Pappa has brought to so many lives. As a believer I have been praying for my husband Josh for years to come to know Jesus as Lord and Savior and although he mocks me for my faith God has been so faithful to me and has drawn me closer to His side. Your marriage testimony has brought me so much encouragement and hope for the future of my own mariage. I recieve your testimony as Jesus the spirit of prophecy over my marriage. I will war with it and for it knowing that God’s heart is for my husband.

    Thank your for sharing,
    Resting in Him,
    Stacy

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  22. Thank you for your sharing! This was a great incouragement! God has told me also told me to keep quiet. It is so hard. To pray and to seek God and grow in my relationship with Him! Thank you!

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  25. Amazing testimony…praise God He holds the Universe in His hands. Never give up on God and He will never give up on you. He loves the marriage covenant and will honor it.

    I had a similar marriage when my late husband was alive.

    God told me, “if you have your eyes on your husband’s faults, then you have taken your eyes off of Me.” He had to tell me this a number of times until I was so convicted I let go of the problem and gave it to Him.

    He ironed my husband out for me before he passed. Praise God, God is Good.

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  31. Dear sister

    When I read your testimony I just had to write this to you. “He was married but separated and we were both in backsliding mode and both promiscuous. We ended up in a short-lived affair.”

    The husband you have is not your husband. You have taken some one else’s & that’s ongoing adultery. Repentance is turning away from sin. If you have stolen something, you have to return it & it is the same thing with the repentance of every sin. He was married to someone else when you met him (even though separated), in God’s eyes they were still married.

    I pray that The Holy Spirit may speak to you as you read this.

    Blessings
    Mona

    • Mona, I actually don’t disagree with you, and I was in no way trying to say what we did wasn’t sin. It completely was! I shared it to show how messy our beginning was. However there is more context you are missing.

      It appeared his exwife was unfaithful to him (I’ve never asked her to confirm that – she and I are friends – but the circumstances sure pointed to that) and she had left him (that’s why they were separated). That didn’t make it not sin when we first got together (as I have already said), but it clarifies the reason for the divorce. Further, at the time I documented this testimony she’d long since married the man she had left him for. They were together from the time I met my husband.

      Honestly I reached a crisis of faith at one point in our marriage as I read the very scriptures you’re quoting. I lay my marriage on the altar and asked the Father what He would have me do.

      What He showed me is He brought us together. Though hugely imperfect our marriage testimony has saved many marriages.

      I do not advocate divorce. I have witnessed the effects it has on the heart of those who go through it and seen what it does to the children. However in this imperfect world can Father still use someone like my husband who has been through one? You betcha!

      So we share what Father has done with these imperfect vessels and pray some will be blessed and encouraged by it.

      I pray Father blesses you as you continue to seek Him 🙂

  32. I can’t see how our Heavenly Father honor a adultery marriage. Even if his pervious wife committed adultery don’t make it ok to remarry or divorce. Read Matthew 5:31-32 Matthew 19:7-9 Mark 10:2-12 and Luke 16:18 very clear. Now if he was married to her and she was already married before him… i can see because he then was never really married to his ex-wife. Then you would be his real wife as long as you wasn’t married before him.

    • Aaron, based on the first 3 scriptures you mentioned (and the concordance’s definition of fornication) there was biblical cause for them to get divorced (again not that I advocate that because I certainly don’t, which is a fundamental point in my testimony).

      As I mentioned in my comment to Mona, I had a crisis of faith when I found Mark 10:2-12 and Luke 16:18, which clearly say not to remarry if you’re divorced. At that point however, I was already married and as Malachi 2:6 reminds us God hates divorce – so should we compound the situation by divorcing? That is exactly the question I took before the Lord – putting my marriage on the altar and asking what He’d have me do.

      Ultimately, I sensed Him say His grace is sufficient. He is sovereign. He is not shocked by this situation nor is He incapable of bringing good from it. If we follow the principle of judging by fruit, it’s clear the Father has blessed our union – notwithstanding its beginnings. He’s also blessed others through it. In the end He is my judge.

      I apologize if my testimony gives you cause to stumble because it doesn’t align with your expectations. My heart is not to cause difficulty but rather to encourage. Specifically to encourage those who feel hopelessly broken or damaged beyond repair that God is bigger than our circumstances and is truly One who brings beauty for ashes. I am grateful He is a God of mercy and grace – I for one need plenty of both and am eternally grateful He has blessed me with it.

  33. Remember also it said except for fornication…. fornication is two unmarried people having sex…
    It may say except for sexual immortality that mean all type of sexual things outside of marriage…..adultery is not included. Never once said in the scriptures it ok to remarry. But it do say if anyone marry a divorce woman or man commits adultery as long as you in that relationship.

    • Aaron, I’m not sure where you’re getting you’re definition for fornication, but its not matching what I’m seeing in the concordance which includes adultery. Please see my other comment for the remainder of my response.

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  35. Meghan you rock! Thank you for telling your story! I’m in the throws of this right now and my husband has not hit his rock bottom yet…but everything you concluded with is exactly where I am at and what I’m experiencing!! I’m peaceful & joyful & excited to see what God is going to do in me and in us…He’s impressed several things on my heart and I’m just clinging to Him!!!

  36. Hi Meghan;
    I’m 50 years young and I read your blog about “He Resoreth My Soul”. I’m at a place with God where I’m seeking Him in His Word daily and asking Him to restore my soul. Married for 3 years; currently seperated. I read your article on your marriage that God has renewed and restored. It has greatly encouraged my heart to seek God with renewed faith and trust in Him to save my marriage.

  37. I was discussing the divorce / remarriage issue with a friend who has studied the word much. What he shared was very interesting and pertinent to previous comments so I wanted to share it:

    Concerning divorce and remarriage, let’s take a look at the first time Yeshua mentions this particular issue:

    “It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” – Matthew 5:31-32

    Many Christians believe that Yeshua is saying here that someone who is divorced cannot ever get remarried for any reason, otherwise they will be “committing adultery.” However, there are two different Greek words with two different meanings from which our one English word “divorce” is translated.

    The word “divorce” is translated from these two Greek words:

    ??????/apoly? (STRONGS: G630) – to free fully, i.e. (literally) relieve, release, dismiss (reflexively, depart), or (figuratively) let die, pardon or (specially) divorce:–(let) depart, dismiss, forgive, let go, loose, put away, send away, release, set at liberty.

    and…

    ??????????/apostasion (STRONGS: G647) – properly, something separative, i.e. (specially) divorce:–writing of divorcement.

    ‘apoly?’ means to simply put away, while ‘apostasion’ means to officially, legally divorce. Now let’s read these verses again with the Greek:

    “It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces (apoly?) his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce (apostasion).’ But I say to you that everyone who divorces (apoly?) his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced (apoly?) woman commits adultery.” – Matthew 5:31-32

    Do you see how those two different Greek words are used here? To commit adultery presupposes that you or the person with whom you have relations are in a marriage Covenant with someone else. In other words, by definition, it is impossible to commit the sin of adultery if you or the other person are not married to someone else. Therefore, Yeshua wasn’t saying that a divorced woman (out of Covenant with her former husband) commits adultery if she remarries; rather, He was saying that if someone marries a woman who is NOT yet officially divorced then they are committing adultery, because from a legal perspective, she is still in a marriage Covenant with someone else. This just makes logical sense considering the definition of adultery.

    Yeshua is addressing a very specific matter here. Apparently, men were leaving their wives without a good reason and also without officially, legally divorcing them; thus, leaving them in limbo and not able to legally remarry. This caused the women to commit adultery if they eventually married someone else because they are still legally in a marriage covenant with their former husband! If their husbands gave them a certificate of divorce, then they would not be committing adultery by marrying another man, because they would no longer be committed to their former Covenant.

    The bottom line is that Torah permits divorce and remarriage (Deut 24); therefore, Yeshua cannot be saying it’s a “sin” to get remarried. He was simply emphasizing the importance of the marriage covenant.

    Regrettably it’s not wanting to display the Greek letters so if you are seeing question marks just know it’s the Greek words.

  38. Hi
    I need prayer for my circumstances.
    My husband has left the house
    He says he doesn’t want to come back and doesn’t want me
    I too have sought god
    I need people to pray for me in the time
    Much appreciated.
    I want my marriage healed and my husband back

  39. Hi there,
    I actually came across website because I was in search of information on anointing and praying over my home. I came across your YouTube video first. Thank you for that it was very informative and helpful. My husband and I are just coming off of a really hard season that has financially, emotionally and spiritually devastated my family. Your testament has given me hope and encouraged me to keep on going and praying for my husband and hopes that he will come around again. Thank you!

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  42. I just read your marriage testimony and wanted to thank you for sharing this powerful testimony of a praying wife, and courage to surrender and trust in our true husband. Love sis Judy

  43. It is interesting for me to see where you are at now with a thriving ministry, strong and loving marriage, and positions of leadership in church and not know where you came from. What you have now was birthed out of the ashes for your past, and the Lord truly does not let his word return to him void. Blessings.

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