Renewed Marriage (Overview)
Tuesday 5 April 2005 | 3:14 am | MeghanThis is the brief version of what God did in our marriage. It was written the month of our 5-year anniversary (November 2006). The time period it spans is from summer 1999 to spring 2005.
My relationship with my husband got started completely the wrong way. We first met when he was my student. He was married but separated and we were both in backsliding mode and both promiscuous. We ended up in a short-lived affair. After which I ended up in another ungodly relationship heading further and further away from God’s plan for me.
If this is not the man…
Fast-forward nearly two years, and I reached a breaking point. I prayed and I said to God, “Lord, if this is not the man you have for me – I just pray You would take him from me. I cannot imagine my life without him, but I trust that You will get me through it and I just ask that You’d bring the man You have for me into my life.” Less than two months later the man I was living with left me.
Dating Allen the 2nd Time
I started going back to church and one night at church I heard the Lord say, “call Allen.” So I did. When Allen and I started dating, we did not date the “right” way at all. He virtually moved in with me only going home on the weekends his kids came to stay with him. We would sleep together and then pray for God to forgive us – it was crazy. We were both a mess, but it appeared we were moving towards Him – sort of.
Married
We were married five months later and it didn’t take me long to realize we were not both moving towards God at the same pace – Allen continued drinking and it was not pretty. For a while, I held back in my relationship with God because I didn’t want to get too “church-ie” and offend him. The Lord convicted me that I was only responsible for my own walk – and that Allen not being right with God was not an excuse for me to not be right. So I began to pursue God more and He began to heal some things in my heart.
During this period, things with my husband got worse. He struggled with porn and was drinking more and more – he would say and do really hurtful things when he was drunk – it was really difficult. I knew he had a lot of past hurts – and so for the first year and a half I tried to fix him, but it only got worse. I’m embarrassed to say I spent more time trying to psychoanalyze him than praying for him.
Broken
Finally, I got on my face before God. I knew He had put us together, but I was miserable. Broken I cried out to God; I told Him I didn’t know what to do with my marriage – I couldn’t fix it and I threw my marriage at His feet. What God said next caught me off guard – He told me to “shut up and pray.” So, I asked Him to teach me how to be a prayer warrior for my husband, which He did (within a week He had people gift me 2 books, Power of a Praying Wife and Intercessory Prayer).
Almost harder than the “pray” was the “shut up” – I’m sure you all know how hard it is not to put your two cents in – especially when someone is totally messing up. But through prayer, God was helping me to hold my tongue and trust Him.
One night when Allen was drunk in a bar, the Lord sent a prophetess to the bar to give him a word. It was powerful and it shook him, but even more than that it rocked my world because I got that God didn’t need me to say anything, He was perfectly capable of sending anyone anywhere to tell him anything! It invigorated my faith and I began to realize how big God really is.
Prayer Warrior
I started a women’s prayer group, where we gathered weekly to pray for our marriages, husbands and families. I staked myself to other women believers. Then God began drawing me deeper into Him. He gave me promises of what my husband and marriage would be like. I spent a lot of time in worship mixed with prayer – especially songs that declared my trust in Him because the situation didn’t look good. I began fasting weekly for my marriage and my husband.
In the natural things would sometimes appear to get better and then they’d get worse, and worse and worse. I asked God to show me Allen as He saw him – and He began to. I began to be able to separate the amazing man that God had created with a call and a purpose from the behavior caused by past wounds and demonic influence. It enabled me to love the man but hate and fight against the enemy controlling him. I was in full battle mode. I was fighting for my husband – it was between the enemy and me and I had God on my side. And I was not going to back down and I was not going to lose.
Broken
After nearly two years came the hardest part of this trial – my Christian friends lost hope and began to encourage me to divorce Allen. One by one, all the people who I had staked myself to and who had been my support system turned. And the Lord told me to choose – who would I believe? The promises He’d given me? Or the counsel of friends.
I was reminded of Job’s friends – well meaning, but wrong. I chose to dare to believe that God was a big enough God to do what He said he was going to do – even though everything in the natural said I was crazy. It was a lonely period, but gratefully, not too long thereafter he hit bottom.
Rock Bottom
One night the police called me to retrieve my husband. He was the worst I’d ever seen him. I was in full battle mode, laying hands on him and praying over him while he was passed out, declaring the promises of God over him. The next morning I continued to press in and pray for breakthrough and it came. If God had not had me living in a place of continual forgiveness and hope – I would have missed it.
I told him he needed to get deliverance – that regardless of his best intentions, the enemy is stronger than him – than any of us – if he didn’t learn and use the authority God had given him as a believer he would continue over and over in the same patterns. He had to chose and fight for his own freedom. And he did.
Confession
The next day, Allen had his first fast. The whole day he fell under heavier and heavier conviction that there were things he needed to come clean with me on. That night he couldn’t sleep – he’d made choices trying to destroy a marriage he hadn’t cared about and was terrified to come clean because now he didn’t want to lose the marriage – but he knew he had to be honest. At 5 am he told God he was ready to tell me, but pointed out to Him that I was still asleep. God promptly woke me.
Allen told me he needed to talk to me, he said his “soul was being tortured” – the minute he spoke the words – a tidal wave of peace came down over me. I told him I forgave him – I knew he wasn’t the same man he’d been three days earlier and that no matter what it was – I forgave him. He needed to tell me and so I let him. I listened as he spoke and then told him again – “I forgive you and I love you.” He told me later that it was like I represented Jesus to him at that moment – it was unthinkable to him that I could forgive him.
Allen was baptized in the Holy Spirit a few days later and God has done some amazing things in our relationship since then. He has continued to draw and heal it.
At the time of adding this part of my testimony to this site it’s been two and a half years since my husband rededicated his life to the Lord. Most of the people we know can’t even imagine that he was ever like this because the Lord has so restored and renewed him. It moves me to tears to see how much my husband loves the Lord now and how relentless his pursuit of Him is.
Conclusion
- What was amazing to me was that as I trusted my heart with God – He protected it.
- I was able to maintain true joy through things that don’t make you happy! It was the supernatural peace God tells us He will give us when we seek Him. It was amazing.
- And that God is faithful and powerful – He will do what He’s said He’s going to do.
- And He is using it for good – already I’ve been privileged to see two marriages saved as a direct result of the testimony He wrote in our lives.
So to end, I just want to encourage you in 3 things:
- pray for your spouse – because it works and it’s powerful,
- trust your heart with God – it’s the only place it’s safe,
- and finally believe that God is a big God – He can make a way when there appears to be no way, He is faithful.
July 19th, 2008 at 7:45 am
thank you so much for your testimony. pray that I trust God in this similar situation. God told me in church a few months ago if you seek me I will take care of the rest.
the worst is talking to people, they make me give up hope. I don’t want to lose my marriage or my husband but when i think he’s talking to other women i am heartbroken.
thank you so much, I will keep pressing in and try my best to “shut up” believe it or not the Lord has told me to do the same thing but I do not obey.
love and blessings to you! Patricia
October 5th, 2008 at 12:11 am
[...] God has done quite a work in our marriage. [...]
February 23rd, 2009 at 8:49 pm
Thank you for your testimony, there are plenty of prayer request sites-yours is the first testimony I have found. God has told me to be quiet-HARD for me!! Please join me in praying for restoration in a separation. We still visit and communicate. My husband says he is confused, would like to return home, and loves me and our daughter. She is in her teens and I know the weight I still have from my own parents troubles when I was her age. Bind the enemy and cover us all with the healing blood of Jesus. Soften our hearts for each other and our marriage. Guide and restore our family – yes quickly.
In Jesus name
March 3rd, 2009 at 4:07 pm
Thank you for your testimony, God has spoke to me and have show me not togive up I have been away from my family(fiance and our two boys) and im beliving god to restore my family. But its a hard fight when you feel like everyone is against you. So story has brought me to tears and i thank you again. You made me rember that god will do everything he said
April 3rd, 2009 at 1:32 am
[...] of areas where I have been willing to commit at that level, the first that comes to mind is my husband. When he was backslidden, I contended for his freedom and did so at much personal cost. That is an [...]
September 18th, 2009 at 1:20 am
This is truly a God ordained testimony, thank you so much for sharing your life, pain, sadness, joy, courage and best of all Jesus!
November 16th, 2009 at 1:59 am
[...] would I still have trouble giving thanks? Probably not as much. (This example is one I walked through personally, and it was when I completely released control to God and praised Him and thanked Him in the midst [...]
February 4th, 2010 at 4:23 am
Thankyou for sharing your testimony. My life with my husband is a true testimony that when you fall on your face before him he will restore and give you the best!! I’d always dated outside God’s ‘pool’ and at the end when I was broken and devastated, I reached out to God to send the right husband and he did! I did’nt even know men like my husband existed, kind, loving, trustworthy, LOVES THE LORD, and just a hero!!
To God be the glory, great things he hath done.
*hugs*
July 6th, 2010 at 7:18 pm
Wow! What a testimony! I have a very good friend that was not able to celebrate her first anniversary this year due to attacks of the enemy. They are not divorced (as of today) and she feels that God will make a way for them together. I would love to share your story with her if you don’t mind. What a testimony!
January 8th, 2011 at 6:44 pm
Hi Meghan,
Today is the 1st day I met u online with the scarves & I KNOW it was set up by Almighty God
I am still in a BIG battle very similiar to yours for my husband – the porn all else is identical ! Even though it has been quite a few yrs longer of a battle than yours I KNOW God has NO impossiblities by HIS power ! Thank u for being honest I have been thru the exact same thing with friends/family without them saying but in a round about way since Rick has been this way some yrs now quietly hinting well either get out Or dont share ur burdens anymore, so it is VERY lonely when i look to people >>> BUT as you > I learned thru many tears to look to Jesus alone for all things,comfort,strength,guidance & companionship when it seems like it is Him & I only. I KNOW the LORD is going to restore our marriage very soon & restore Rick to HIM & we also will be a GREAT testimony of the POWER OF GOD !
I am ordering a scarf for worship soon ( I AM A DEEP WORSHIPPER & INTERCESSOR AS WELL ) I want to use it for this & in Praise dance @ church & @ home !
Thanks for being so transparent for thru it Jesus WILL heal many !!!
Love,
Sharon Wedle
April 16th, 2011 at 11:55 am
[...] And for those who don’t know why this hits so close to home for me, you may want to read my marriage testimony too! I ordered this scarf because I wanted something to go under my husband’s pillow. Something [...]
April 17th, 2011 at 7:55 am
what a testamony Meghan. This is also another one of those long fights I am in, for my husband. A long time ago the Lord gave me a name for the be queit and pray mode. He called it the Shut Up Annointing. I pray for that annointing often. LOL. The shut up part is very hard, especially for a fighter, you really do need the Annointing for that.
Victory is sweet.
April 22nd, 2011 at 1:55 am
Thank You so much for guiding me here Meghan…..I was slowly losing hope in my husband and our marriage….i was beginning to think that this is just the road he is going down and if i didn’t stay clear he would drag me down instead of me pulling him up….The biggest thing that touched my heart so in your testimony was that you shut up and prayed for him….I seem to want to always defend my spiritual walk or chastise him when he says or does things that contradict the Word….But through you testimony I have new Hope and New faith and i am going to press in even harder in my prayer and fasting and I am believing God that my marriage will be restored and that my husband will rise up as the spiritual leader of this family and be so in love with God that Nothing will turn his head again….Thank you so much and I so so so look forward to meeting you at The Potter’s House in June…I want to make it a point that i come up to you with a big hug and tell you face to face how much you inspire me…..So be waiting for me!!!!!!
August 3rd, 2011 at 9:25 pm
OH!… just… OH!… what a great testimony – my goodness, what all you both have been through. I sent this link to a family member. Meghan, thank you for sharing this – i hope it blesses the socks off of men & woman who have gone through the ringer. So very encouraging!
August 6th, 2011 at 12:35 am
[...] the early years of my marriage, which at the time was falling apart (read the testimony), I learned to truly worship God. I finally had the proper outlet for this call to worship YHWH, [...]
November 23rd, 2011 at 5:36 am
[...] we wouldn’t. And without the Father, we wouldn’t have. If you haven’t read our marriage testimony yet, you may be blessed by it. Seeing how much the Father’s done in the first 10 years only [...]
November 23rd, 2011 at 10:08 pm
Thank God, for His great power bringing healing and restoration to both of you and to your marriage! When I used to see you at Destiny, you and Allen had so much joy and seemed to be so much in love! Yay! I’m so happy for you!
December 14th, 2011 at 4:25 am
[...] honor the authority He had in place He would bless me as well. True to His word, He has… my marriage testimony says it all. Father, I pray that You would show each person who reads this who the authorities [...]
January 6th, 2012 at 4:45 pm
I am in awe of God’s goodness and am so humbled by the way he has used your scarves. I have been weeping for two days as i have read testimonies about the healings and restoration Pappa has brought to so many lives. As a believer I have been praying for my husband Josh for years to come to know Jesus as Lord and Savior and although he mocks me for my faith God has been so faithful to me and has drawn me closer to His side. Your marriage testimony has brought me so much encouragement and hope for the future of my own mariage. I recieve your testimony as Jesus the spirit of prophecy over my marriage. I will war with it and for it knowing that God’s heart is for my husband.
Thank your for sharing,
Resting in Him,
Stacy
January 31st, 2012 at 5:58 am
[...] only way; I am merely saying this is how I’ve walked it out and I have seen many answered (my marriage testimony is a great example and also shares how the Father launched me into a lifestyle of [...]